Californian Change

Life has been a whirlwind of hopes, fingers crossed and a transporting of many boxes up and down three flights of stairs. I recently left my job in Phoenix, Arizona to pursue my Master of fine Arts in creative writing with an emphasis in Poetry at Mills College in Oakland, California. It may be one state away but the change is vast and feel as though I am walking to the unknown.

Last week, my boyfriend and I packed my tiny Subaru Impreza with as much as I could fit and made our journey north to the Bay area. The first day we drove through the Sonoran desert and said bye to the precious saguaro I’ve been surrounded by for the past ten years in the valley. We made our way though the Californian Sonoran desert then stopped for dinner in the pacific coastal town of Ventura, California.

We had made it just in time for the sunset, for a moment it seemed as though the ocean tide was bringing liquid Amber to the shore. I’ve always wanted to be surrounded by water and the sound of it, it felt like good energy. Another reason I’m glad we stopped here is because I heard one of the Islands off the Santa Barbara channel is where Changing woman once lived. This past spring I took a Dinè (Navajo) Cultural class though the Phoenix Indian Center. When I heard this, for some reason it made sense to me and I wanted to be in the presence or near where this island may have been. I looked out to the ocean and breathed. Then we made our way further North.

Also, I had some of the best mole that night in a deserted downtown Ventura. We were also the only folks in the restaurant that night. It was a bit odd but nice to have the restaurant to ourselves for one our last dinners together.

When we made it to Oakland, that is when it finally hit me, I will be staying here, I will be studying here. I will be writing here?!?! Then every part of me felt like I wanted to cling to every safe part of what I had built in Phoenix. Then I started asking myself, would I grow in all the safeness? Would I grow as a writer in my codling? Would I grow in my ego? Then I knew why I came to Oakland, to challenge myself, to push myself as a writer and to read until words started seeping out of my ears. Then I remembered and got off of the MacArthur Boulevard exit and checked in as a new graduate student.

♥PJ Harvey- Send his love to me♥

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asdzaabeat

Amber McCrary is Diné zinester, feminist and writer. She was born in Tuba City, AZ (Diné Bikeyah) and raised in the Bordertown of Flagstaff, AZ. In the small town of Flagstaff is where she discovered her love for Punk Rock and the Do it Yourself Culture. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Political Science with a minor in American Indian Studies from Arizona State University. She will be pursuing her MFA in creative writing with an emphasis in poetry this fall. She enjoys many things in life such as tea, traveling, writing, reading, sulking, gardening, eating, smashing the patriarchy and learning about cultures and her own (Navajo/Diné). She currently resides in Phoenix, Arizona. Her work has appeared in Yellow Medicine Review, Bluestockings Magazine, Cloudthroat magazine and the Introduction to Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies: Interdisciplinary and Intersectional Approaches 1st Edition.

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